


red lights, stop signs

by unusannus



Category: Avatar: Legend of Korra
Genre: Ambiguous/Open Ending, Angst, F/F, Not Beta Read, Post-Break Up, Sort of a Songfic, This Is Sad
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-18
Updated: 2021-01-18
Packaged: 2021-03-14 10:48:12
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,082
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28794174
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/unusannus/pseuds/unusannus
Summary: asami and korra broke up. asami reminisces over what they had.based off drivers license by olivia rodrigo
Relationships: Korra/Asami Sato
Comments: 4
Kudos: 31





	red lights, stop signs

**Author's Note:**

> rated teen for swearing and just general sadness 
> 
> i’d recommend listening to the song first and then reading because it’s really beautiful and i’ve had it on repeat for a week now. stan olivia rodrigo!!

A drivers license had always seemed like a rite of passage to Asami, a sort of welcoming into the supposed world of the adults. It also helped that her own father had basically reinvented the concept of transportation with the Satomobiles. So, freshly eighteen, she had finally taken the test and passed it.

This had obviously called for celebrations and congratulations from all her friends. Bolin had even surprised her with a cake that he had baked himself, albeit a little burnt and lopsided, but isn’t that all love really was? Twist and turn it, mold it into whatever you’d like and in the end it’s still called love. Messy, messy love. 

It felt liberating to finally go out on her own, seeing and smelling the sights of New York City in a new light, one that was special in its own little way. At the tail end of her senior year, she was gearing up for university and summer internships to keep her busy until orientation and move in day arrived.

There was still a person she was still hoping to get a congrats from, who subsequently was also the reason why she wanted to stay as occupied as possible. She knew it was stupid to expect anything from her. They hadn’t spoken in weeks. Awkward glances in the hallways coupled with that once time they were in the school bathroom washing their hands at the same time didn’t help either. 

And it reads like a tragedy, really. Two star-crossed lovers with everything they wanted reduced to nothing. Maybe this was the universe’s final _fuck you_ to Asami. As if it had wanted to say _Oh, your mom’s already dead? Your dad’s in prison? Well, here’s something else to get the tears flowing. You’re welcome_! Honestly, straight up dying sounded better than whatever hellhole she had wandered into. 

Okay, that’s a bit harsh. She loved her friends, seriously. They were all she had now and she couldn’t imagine having to get anything done without them. But they came with their cons. Exhibit A: (the only one) the friends she had were also still friends with Korra. And she would never, in a million years, force them to stop hanging out with her ex just to appease herself. That was wrong on so many levels.

Besides, Asami could be mature about this. Everytime they mentioned that Korra would join them she would come up with an amazing excuse to bail. For example, her nonexistent pet dying or her very distant relative dying or… well, you get the point. She was prepared to not see Korra in person ever again. That was the deal. The very one sided deal she had made with herself in her mind. Totally normal. 

So, that leaves her alone. Alone in her brand new sports car that she had always wanted. It was sleek and a blinding white that could be seen from a mile away.

_“This one's perfect!”_

_“You sure?”_

_“Yep, when you come pick me up it’ll be super easy to spot.” Korra tells her._

_Asami laughs, teasing “Who said I’d be doing that?”_

_Korra gasps, offended. She playfully shoves her away, “Don’t be a dick.” There’s a glint in her eyes, happiness or something akin that. Asami is too scared to pinpoint it because it makes what they have real, and that means it could shatter so easily. “Once you get your license, we’ll be going anywhere and everywhere, okay?”_

_There’s an ache in Asami’s chest, like she can’t breathe when Korra says those words with all the ease in the world. She’s gentle, too, knowing that Asami was as new to this as she was. Somehow, some way, Korra is perfect at that. The comfort she could always provide to Asami was astonishing in every way possible._

Asami sighs, the low sound of the radio playing over her jumbled thoughts. She wants to erase every single memory of Korra that she ever had, the good and the bad, as long as it meant that she would never feel this way ever again. God, she wanted it so much, to be free of this hefty weight of emotions for good. Her friends would’ve probably agreed. As much as they loved her, there was only so many times that Asami could say she missed Korra before they got tired of it. Tired of her. 

She couldn’t blame them. If she was on the receiving end of that then she’d grow exhausted of the constant complaints as well. It’s so difficult, though, to rid yourself of something or someone that had such an impact on your life. She almost felt pity for her friends because they would never know Korra like she did.

To get over someone you have to _want_ the erasure. Asami wasn’t sure if she wanted it enough. Or if she even wanted it at all.

Approaching the suburbs, she passes by an old diner. It was rundown and in need of some repairs in its exterior and interior, but the sight of it almost moves her to tears, a breakdown bubbling up within her. She knew that the burgers there were just okay and the milkshakes were amazing. Korra’s favorite thing to ask for was the chef’s special which didn’t even exist until she started asking for it because the employees liked her that much. At some point, it’d really just become the Korra special. 

Asami can remember her little lopsided grin she always had whenever she could order it, feeling so incredibly proud of having her own special menu item. She wished she couldn’t picture exactly how one corner of her lips quirked up more than the other, how her eyes crinkled, content with her own little jokes. 

She forgets that she’s supposed to keep the car moving until another one honks at her from behind. With a few curses whispered under her breath, she keeps on moving. That’s all she can really do, anyways. The diner would probably never see the two girls ever again, at least not together. There might be questions about what happened to that sweet teenage couple that made it their mission to go there every week and humor the staff for an hour or two.

It’s a terrifying thing to be so heartbroken. Knowing that a single person had this much power over you when it seems like they didn’t feel the same way. Asami has seen the way that Korra interacts with others around her post breakup. Yeah, she was a little subdued in the beginning, but, now a month later, she’s back to her usual goofy self. It boggles Asami’s mind to think that she could be so _okay_ now that she’s gone. 

They weren’t perfect. No relationship ever is, but Asami had never been in one that made her feel the way Korra did. They had something special that couldn’t be replicated and that scared Asami to her core. The thought that she could never do better than what she had for almost an entire year made her fear the future. 

She could spend the rest of her life searching for someone to try again with and yet she knew there was only one of Korra. That was the hard truth. 

How fucking unfair was that? Her heart had become so full of love for Korra that she couldn’t imagine loving anyone else. 

_“Is that really what you believe?” Asami asks._

_Korra tilts her head like a confused puppy, “Of course. Soulmates have to be real. How else do you think we could ever spend forever with someone?”_

_“Oh.”_

_Face falling, Korra wonders if she’s said something wrong, “Uh, I didn’t mean to get so deep. I-I know we shouldn’t be thinking about forever yet I-”_

_Asami shuts her up with a kiss, “No, you’re fine. I guess it’s just something I haven’t thought about. I’m not mad.” She debates whether her next words should be said, but if Korra was already thinking it then it wouldn’t hurt, right?_

_“I think I could see forever with you.” She tells Korra, bumping noses._

_“Really?”_

_“Yeah, really.”_

The first tears fall before Asami can even register what’s happening, too overwhelmed with emotions. How could she have ever been so naive? Did she seriously think that they were soulmates? That they could ever tolerate each other forever? 

It was stupid. _So_ , _so_ stupid. 

The suburbs surround her as she drives further along a road she doesn’t recognize. It doesn’t scare her to be somewhere unfamiliar. Mentally, she was already there. 

Another ache soars through her body as she finally takes in the neighborhood, almost a complete copy of Korra’s. She had visited her so many times she could probably navigate it by memory. If she drove long enough would she find the same kind of cul de sac that Korra lived in? That might be enough to send her home sobbing. 

She tries it anyway.

The house all the way to the left is in the same spot Asami had grown so used to walking towards. Except this one had a _FOR SALE_ sign pinned to its front yard. If Asami tried hard enough, she could picture Korra coming out of those front doors, barely shrugging on a jacket as she does so because she was always late, blushing from the teasing that Asami would’ve given her for that.

Sniffing, Asami wipes at her eyes. The saltiness from her tears had entered her mouth. That’s another funny thing, tears being salty. It’s not enough that you’re already crying, no, your body has to make it even more uncomfortable. 

After a few minutes of crying in self pity, she heads back into the traffic of downtown. It’s noisy and crowded, enough to ease the pounding in her head. A distraction.

Before she had gotten her license, her and Korra would just take public transportation like a bus. Whenever they got stuck in traffic, Korra would always take it upon herself to keep Asami distracted from the long amount of waiting they’d do. Sometimes she’d say something so funny that they both couldn’t help themselves but double over in their seats, laughing until they couldn’t breathe anymore. Those days were Asami’s favorite, even if it gave them weird looks from other passengers. 

_“You are horrible.” Asami informs her, no real bite in her voice._

_“Am not! You were totally causing a ruckus, too!”_

_Asami shakes her head, fighting off a grin,“Only because you were being so loud. I mean, how am I supposed to not lose my mind when you’re just being you?” They keep walking, away from where the bus had dropped them off. She looks down, counting the cracks in the sidewalks absentmindedly._

_Korra places a hand on her chest, “I’ll take that as a compliment.” She stops before they can cross the road, pressing the big button on the pole beside them, waiting for the sign to change into the timer allowing them to cross._

_“You should.” Asami agrees, taking Korra’s free hand into hers. They were so much more calloused than Asami’s due to her apprentice work as a mechanic, “Don’t tell anyone, but you might be the funniest person I know.” She blushes immediately, not used to being so open, especially in public._

_“Aww, you’re being a softie, Sami.” Korra jokes, squeezing her hand. The traffic light turns red above them. The sign switches to the timer, “Come here.” Korra is quick to pick Asami up in bridal style, running across the road. Her loud laughs contradicting Asami’s shouts of shock._

_Faces flushed from the sudden sprint, they arrive at the other side with two seconds to spare._

_Just in time._

Thinking back to those times, Asami still can’t quite understand where it all went wrong. She couldn’t pinpoint the exact moment when their grip on the relationship had loosened so much until all they could do was let it go and hope for the best. Maybe Korra had seen it coming long before she did. Maybe that’s why she was the first to speak on it. Asami always knew she was smarter than anyone else could ever think. 

They had begun to fall further apart slowly. It wasn’t for any specific reason. Sometimes things just happen and two people can’t feel the same way forever. That’s life for you. Asami knew that. She did. She had to.

There were days when they’d get irritated with each other over the smallest things. Small things build up. And then they feel like they could bring on the end of the world. Or, really, the end of a relationship. 

Like when Korra bought them chinese takeout a week before breaking up.

_“How could you forget my order? I literally get it every time!”_

Or when Asami called a raincheck on one of their weekly movie nights to hang out with Mako.

_“We haven’t hung out in a while, so I wanted to catch up with him. Why are you so mad over this?”_

There had been missed table manners.

_“Stop putting your feet on the table!” or “Do you have to chew so loud?”_

Messy rooms.

_“This needs some serious cleaning. Are you kidding me?”_

The crescendo had built up to the grand finale. A show for the ages. 

_It’s after a particularly bad argument. Korra’s parents were out and they had just finished watching a movie. They’ve had this exact same fight multiple times over the past few weeks. But this one, this one had been the worst one by far._

_Asami is in the kitchen looking for a glass to pour some soda into. When she walks out she accidentally bumps into the kitchen table, knocking down some papers. She bends down and picks up a handful. One of them catches her eye._

_An envelope, already opened, from the CaliforniaTechnical Institute._

_Her hands shake, clutching it close to her chest. Something nasty boils inside of her. Anger._

_“What’s this?”_

_Korra turns to her from where she’s seated on the couch, an eyebrow raised, “Hm?”_

_Asami extends it away from her body, making sure she can see the institute’s name, “This. What is it?”_

_“It’s a letter.” Korra informs her, tone frigid, already expecting a fight to start. And she’s right._

_“From Caltech. You’ve already opened it, haven’t you?”_

_“Asami-”_

_“I thought we were going to talk about this. Were you even going to tell me that they accepted you?”_

_Korra pinches the bridge of her nose, “I haven’t even told you what their decision was.”_

_Asami swallows down the lump in her throat, “Because I’m not an idiot, Korra. You’re smarter than you give yourself credit for and they see that.”_

_“Then --fuck, can’t you just be happy for me?” Korra questions, scowling, “If you’re so sure.”_

_“Of course I’m happy for you. But that’s not why I’m mad. You already know why.” Asami’s vision blurs with her tears, “All the way across the fucking country? Is that what you want?”_

_“I don’t know. I don’t know what I want anymore and it’s because of you! I love you so much that I’m considering turning down my dream school to stay here in New York with you!”_

_The last statement hits Asami like a ton of bricks. She couldn’t do that to her girlfriend. Although, they might not be able to call each other that anymore. Denying Korra of this opportunity would hurt Asami even more than seeing her go._

_“You shouldn’t.” Asami whispers._

_Korra’s lips tremble, “I…” She stops, words don’t come easily anymore, “I don’t know if you’re it for me, then.” The hurt in her eyes tells Asami everything she needs to know. This was never going to work out. It couldn’t._

_Asami’s crying more openly now, the envelope long forgotten on the floor. Korra’s floor. And she’s wearing Korra’s hoodie. And she has a necklace Korra had gifted her around her neck. And she’s picked up so many of Korra’s habits._

_And And And._

_So much of her is Korra._

_Scoffing, Asami says, “So much for forever.”_

_It’s the wrong thing to say, only making Korra’s face contort into more and more pain._

_“I’m sorry.”_

_“Yeah, me too.”_

_They’re quiet for a few moments._

_When Asami finally leaves, cold and shivering without the hoodie, not wanting to bring any of her clothing back home now that they weren’t together, she shuts the door behind her. She doesn’t start walking. Instead, she leans her forehead against the cool wood of it, biting her lower lip hard to stop herself from crying even more._

_It starts bleeding._

Sure, long distance could have worked, but this wasn’t just an argument about their futures. They just weren’t _right_. It had creeped up on them with those little annoyances. The warnings were there and they couldn’t do anything about it.

Asami feels pathetic and she knows she looks the part. Alone in her shiny car, sobs wracking through her body like there’s no tomorrow. (Perhaps there isn’t one.) It’s pathetic at worst and melodramatic at best.

Her throat feels like shit after she’s done. 

Without much thought, she pulls out her phone. Korra’s number is still saved under her favorite contacts. She should change that. 

There’s a few rings. Asami almost hangs up until she hears that voice again. That familiar voice she could practically fall asleep to. 

She’s so shocked that Korra’s actually picked that she actually says nothing at all, a few choice words on the tip of her tongue. 

_I still fucking love you._

“Hello, anyone there? Is -- is this Asami?” 

Did she still have Asami’s phone number saved? No, that was impossible.

“Korra, hey.” Asami says, voice hoarse.

“Hi.” 

_Is that all you have to say? We broke each other's hearts and all you can say is ‘hi’ ?_

“You still there?” 

Asami takes in a deep breath, regret seeping into her bones. She didn’t know if they could do this again. The wounds were still fresh and healing. They knew how this could end if they repeated past mistakes. Was it worth it? The two would have to work even harder to stay on the right track, whatever that could mean as friends or more. It would be grueling and unrelenting to fight against what always seemed like fate. It wouldn’t be possible. _Shouldn’t_ be.

It could all end up crashing and burning just the same. Nothing is guaranteed to be perfect. But they never were. 

“I’m still here.”

**Author's Note:**

> this is definitely up there with the saddest fics i’ve ever written. i don’t plan on adding to this, so take the ending as you’d like.
> 
> leave a kudos and/or a comment if you want to! i love seeing feedback :)


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